Parenting Styles

Why is a parenting style something to be aware of? 
According to research, genetics and environment (or nature and nurture) are equally important in what a child grows up to be. Meaning, no matter how great the genetics might be, if a child is neglected, abused, mistreated, or traumatized, it can completely negate any advantage they might be born with.
The way we parent our children can make or break whether they are successful in life. So, I would say that it's pretty important.

So, what are "parenting styles" exactly?

There are many different kinds of parenting styles named in popular culture, but according to a lot of research, there are predominantly four different parenting styles. These differ according to how warm/cold a parent is, and how demanding/undemanding they are.

The parent who is cold and unaccepting of their child, yet allows them to be uncontrolled as well, creates a neglectful environment for the child to grow up in. This is called Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting. These parents set very few standards, have almost no rules and have no boundaries. They seem to be indifferent to their children and are relatively uninvolved in their lives. These parents often have mental issues, or have been abused as children.
Children raised in a neglectful environment are quite impulsive, have addictions, mental issues and struggle to regulate their emotions. These are often children that have suicidal tendencies and struggle relating to other children.

The parent who is cold and unaccepting, yet demanding or controlling of their children, create a strict environment for their children. This is called Authoritarian Parenting. Authoritarian parents have high standards, but expect their children to follow blindly. They do not discuss things with them, or reason with them. They set rules and expect them to be followed. They try to control their children's behavior, and do not show them affection or nurture their children. They are the parents who practice "tough love".
Children raised by authoritarian parenting often are successful in life, but they are generally quite insecure, are unhappy, have a low self-esteem and have poor behavior. They learn to cope poorly, and turn to drugs or other addictive behaviors. They are more likely to have mental issues and a need to be dependent on others' (usually their parents) praise.

The parent who is warm and accepting, yet allows an uncontrolled environment, creates a distant environment that stimulates little growth. This is called Permissive Parenting. These parents set very few rules because they do not like to enforce them, as they are often worried about hurting their children's feelings. These parents are seemingly pushovers for their children and end up being quite indulgent. They are very affectionate, but cannot maintain any control in the home. 
Children raised in homes that are permissive tend to have very little self-control, become self-centered and struggle in relationships. They struggle to follow rules and have a hard time in social settings.

The parent who is warm and accepting, and demanding (have high expectations) of their children creates an environment that facilitates growth. This is called Authoritative Parenting. These parents are intentional in what they do. They have high expectations, but they are also very responsive, kind and involved in their children's lives. These parents allow their children to have a voice in family matters, and they explain themselves to their children, treating them respectfully.
Children who are raised by authoritative parents have set rules and boundaries, they are given expectations, but they are supported in achieving them. They are disciplined, but it is always reasonable and related to the indiscretion. These children grow up feeling cherished. They are more independent, active, content, and successful than other children. They have a stronger self-esteem and better mental health. 

These four types of parenting are charted as follows:

In general, the best parenting style shown by research worldwide, and endorsed by psychologists and psychiatrists alike, is consistently authoritative parenting (although there are some exceptions). For example, there are some children with a very different temperament that require a different kind of parenting. Some parts of the world have a culture that allows for different parenting styles

These results, it should be noted, are all correlation based, so parenting and behavior are not necessarily a cause and effect relationship in all cases. That being said, these results have been replicated in many studies, many times over.

I had a good friend who had a father who was very authoritative. I remember him getting home from the church dance a few minutes after his curfew because his ride was delayed. He had no control over the situation, but his father was standing on the doorstep waiting for him when he got home. He was grounded for a month because of his tardiness, which he had done everything in his power to avoid. His father would not listen. I remember being upset with his father for being so inflexible when I was only 15. It seemed very unfair to me.

In contrast, my parents raised us in a very loving and authoritative way. A great example of this is shown by the issue of curfews. I remember asking why my parents had never given me a curfew and my parents said that they trust me to be honest and to communicate with them. If I was to break that trust they would feel a need to apply restrictions. As long as I had respect for them, for myself and for those around me, they would trust me to make my own decisions. When I was seventeen, I had graduated and was hanging out with some single adults that were older than me. I had stayed out until two or three in the morning a few nights in a row, and my father set a curfew for the first time in my life. I completely understood and respected why he felt a need to do that, and did not resent this decision because we had established the principle of trust in our home many years before.

I want to be a mom like my parents were with me. As I feel that it is imperative that a child feels and exhibits trust and respect in their home, I want this to be a top priority as a parent. If they do not feel heard, they are much more likely to rebel against the rules set up. If there are no rules or consequences for their actions, they will walk all over you. There is a very delicate balance that needs to be maintained. The only thing I would change from how my parents raised me is that I would want to be more aware of highly sensitive children. I was very sensitive and would stonewall at the slightest criticism from my parents. I hated the feeling that I had disappointed them. As I stonewalled, it looked to my mom that I was not paying attention or was not understanding what was happening, so she would get more upset with me than most of the kids. She has apologized about that to me now, but I hope to be more in tune to a child with highly sensitive emotions so that I can communicate more effectively with them.

References: 

parentingforbrain.com